Taraki Punjabi Women's Forum reunited in October 2024 to discuss the topic of Navigating Loneliness. You can read a summary of the discussion here.
Taraki's Punjabi Women's Forum met in October 2024; as autumn transitions to winter, many of us might feel the impact of shorter days, colder nights, and the subtle withdrawal from social activities. It’s natural to experience feelings of loneliness during this season, and yet, admitting to such feelings can sometimes be challenging, especially within our community where cultural expectations can weigh heavily.
Feeling lonely doesn’t necessarily mean we’re alone. Sometimes, even surrounded by family and friends, we may feel disconnected. This phase is especially common after finishing school or university, as life shifts and we may feel a pressure to “settle down.” While companionship can be beautiful, society often reinforces the idea that we must quickly marry or have children to avoid loneliness, particularly for women. This urgency can sometimes lead to rushing into relationships, which may not be healthy or fulfilling, simply to evade feelings of isolation.
One woman felt that for her as a Punjabi woman, the experience of pressure of marriage began in her early twenties. Elders may suggest looking for marriage prospects, emphasizing that marriage is a top priority. Growing up, we’re often told that marriage and family are measures of success and happiness, yet our generation is beginning to see that personal fulfilment goes beyond just these milestones. Generational conditioning, often inherited from parents who might have experienced arranged marriages, subtly shapes our expectations. However, choosing to be single isn’t a failure; rather, it’s a conscious choice to nurture oneself, and it deserves the same respect.
In times of vulnerability, what we need most is a compassionate ear, not advice or judgment. Too often, when we share personal challenges, those around us may offer unsolicited solutions rather than support, assuming they know best. This can feel dismissive. We are not projects to be “fixed.” Instead, offering an open heart, without trying to “solve” a person’s loneliness or struggles, allows genuine connection to blossom.
Many people believe that to be alone is to be unhappy, but spending time with oneself can be incredibly fulfilling. Solitude is a valuable space for self-reflection and growth. Embracing our journey, without fearing judgement from others, allows us to experience a fulfilling and content life.
Often, we feel pressure to fit into the mould of “ideal” relationships, which can feel isolating if we lack positive role models. It’s essential to create our own standards for what meaningful relationships look like, free from external expectations. Building strong friendships and uplifting one another is key.
Finding activities that bring us joy can reduce loneliness and instill a sense of purpose. Here are some ideas:
- Gratitude Journaling: Reflect on positive moments, big or small, to cultivate peace within.
- Mindful Meditation: Starting each day with a meditation card or positive reflection can help centre the mind.
- Connection with Nature: Spending time outdoors or even tending to plants can be therapeutic.
- Swimming and Exercise: Physical activity like swimming not only keeps us strong but also lifts our spirits.
- Langar and Seva: Engaging in service at the gurdwara can be fulfilling and fosters a sense of community.
As we navigate our journeys, sharing stories and listening without judgement allows us to see that no one has it all figured out. We are all learning, evolving, and finding our paths. Encouraging honest conversations with future generations fosters a supportive environment that values both our cultural heritage and individual choices.
The forum closed with members reminding each other that our worth is not defined by meeting societal expectations but by the love and kindness we show ourselves and each other. Embrace the season with hope, knowing you’re part of a community that understands and values your journey. After all, that is what Taraki's Punjabi Women's Forum is here for, and will continue to be here for.
You can sign up to future forums here.